I am gathering myself an “stuff” for my trip to Russia. I plan to spend three weeks there and see friends and take care of some business. I am going there with my dad, who has been living in the US. for the last five years. He is one of the main reasons I am going to Russia, to my home town, Omsk, simply because I don’t want him to fly alone. My dad has an advanced heart illness and I chose to travel with him…just in case.
As a departure day is getting closer I am noticing how my whole energy changes, how I want to “make sure” and “gather”. I feel some anxiety and doing “overwhelmed” from time to time.
This is one of many transitions in my life and I am beginning to recognize the pattern. I prepare in advance and somehow I fill my few days before the actual departure with lots of stuff. And it seems that it doesn’t matter how much in advance I start to “gather and complete” I create a very full schedule right before the “due date”.
I have no judgement about it…simply wondering and at the moment I am not even sure if I want it to be different. I am wondering about small transitions within a larger life transition. In a way we are always in transition, and we call it life. And yet within this larger transition we create moments when we feel settled and experiencing the continuity of life and then we go to work. And it is a small and sort of a routine transition that is not too stressful (providing you are OK with your job and traffic) and then again…we move or change a job, spouse, location
I don’t have any particular wisdom at the moment …except that lately I found it to be very nurturing to look in the eyes of my partner when he (or I ) leave the house and when we come back. Something about it feels loving, nurturing, connecting and complete… within the larger in-completion of life.
My next blog post I would probably write from Russia …or maybe from the airport while transitioning back to the US.
wondering how easeful my travel can be,