Meeting

I was honored to spent last three weeks in the company of a three months old girl. I wanted to spend every available minute (after busy day) in her presence. Why? I was wondering if I am going through some kind of “hormonal” “I want a baby” period in my life. And then it dawned on me that I feel met.

She could look at me for a long time, without hiding, evaluating, doing, but simply admiring  .. eye to eye, smiled (or not). I felt pure love pouring at me. I felt completely loved, recognized, seen. I felt met. Love meets love kind of thing. Her look so unedited, no defenses or conditioning formed yet. I saw mature love in a little body.

I laughed with her mom one night that all these years I was  attempting to create this kind of connection with a man in my life. Who knew that I could feel completely loved and met by a nearly newborn?

I had this experience with a dog today as well. Kona (a dog name) was laying on the floor, paws spread straight, looking at me with the same ” love pouring” look.

I am laughing, thinking if maybe now when I learned to see (and recognize) myself and receive love from infants and dogs I can receive it from an adult.

Is there is some kind of weird ratio, the smaller the body is the more mature love is, and the more mature we are the less we remember ourselves as love? Or we forget that we come here as love and we squish it, but the more we squish it the more we attempt to find it outside ourselves….and it gets sort of hectic at times and often dramatic Lots of movies have been created about love drama.

It has been quite a delicious experience, while taking care of a “little” body I got filled up with love and felt completely embraced by this “big” being.

I met myself in the eyes of an infant

Love,

Yelena