Tomorrow is the first day of the Calgary Stampede. We have a dear friend in town for 5 days and a whole raft of fun activities and great converstations on the menu. I have been looking forward to this for months.
First event we go to, the first evening she is here, by throat gets scratchy, my nose starts running and before I know it I have a full blown cold/flu/cough thing going on. This is a bit of a pattern. Whether it’s a cold or a twisted ankle (my two personal favourites) it seems that I am somehow using my body to make sure that things don’t get “too much” fun – that I don’t have too much fun!
So determined as I am not to miss anything (we hiked 14 kim up a mountain yesterday) the reality is that I’m not at my best and am occasionally giving in to the crappy way I feel. And I’m wondering … do I really have that much control over my body? Is there a “not too much fun” part of me that is determined to keep me safe from something (I’m suspecting it’s a fear of disappointment if things aren’t quite as amazing in my anticipatory imagination as they are in “real” life)?
I think I’m ready to let go of this one. Wondering just how fun life could possibly get and how I can enlarge my “having fun” container so that it just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
And wondering if I have enough Kleenex in the meantime!
Sniffling and smiling,
Jane
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